Teen Magazine
by Bondomu
Summary: Every now and again Loki acts in a way that quite frankly creeps Tony out. (light Tony/Loki)


**I am so tired so forgive me if this is shit. But I really felt like writing something and this is just what happened. But also, I know what you're thinking; Szay!? Are you writing MCU stuff? Have you been hacked? Nope, I'm just gay for Loki and I'm falling asleep from exhaustion.**

 **Start**

Some days with Loki, Tony muses, are normal. Other days... not so much. When Thor had appeared in his living room with Loki one fine winters morning, Tony had no idea what was in store for him. Turns out Loki was on house arrest for another prank, but a thankfully far less harmful one this time; as long as humiliation of Odin and Son at a public event didn't count as harmful. But the point was, there the good days and the strange days- thankfully no bad days.

Good days consisted of Loki being tired, or happy. Tired Loki loves TV, Tony had noticed after his first week living with the God of 'd be found around the house lounging and making himself feel right at home. Happy Loki is constantly curious, asking Tony about his inventions, wanting to read stuff and discovered the art of making different kinds of fruit juices to sample. Some interesting conversations be easily coaxed out of Happy Loki.

But then there were the strange days.

On these days, Loki seemed to be in constant mood changes. Sometimes he was withdrawn but not necessarily cold, but still talked to Tony as if nothing was wrong. Other times he might sneak up on Tony and ask strange questions, or say strange things but with a distinct lack of emotion. A few examples of this were:

 **Tuesday: Day 3 of Living With Loki**

Loki had appeared behind Tony with no warning, grabbing his shoulder he asks "Why are there domesticated and non-domesticated cats?" Tony never had a chance to even comprehend the question before Loki was already talking again.

"Oh wait. Never mind." Loki had said, his voice had sounded wistful. He walked off as if no conversation had ever taken place.

 **Thursday: Day 5 of Living With Loki**

"I always have to wonder about it, you know?" Loki whispers one night as they're eating take out and watching a television program.

Tony looks up from his food, "Wonder about what?" he frowns.

"Yeah." Loki nods, but doesn't continue talking.

Tony never presses the issue, preferring not to know.

 **Friday: Day 6 of Living With Loki**

It was morning, around 11, when Tony trudged into the kitchen to grab some leftovers when he noticed Loki standing in the corner of the room looking at the roof. Tony was too creeped out to move, but he quietly asks "Loki, what the fuck are you doing?"

"It's so funny." The God of Mischief mutters before glancing at Tony and walking out of the room.

Tony decides he's not hungry after all.

 **Those were just three of the examples Tony has to offer.**

But the next time Tony saw Loki at all, was late on the same Friday he was in the kitchen. This time it was roughly around 10, but at night. Tony had walked into the workshop to look over some of his latest ideas when he instantly noticed Loki sitting cross-legged at his desk.

"Hey Loki, what're you doing in here?" Tony asks, hoping this isn't another one of Loki's Strange Incidents.

"From one intellectual to another, lets fuck." Loki says, keeping a surprisingly neutral face.

Tony freezes and stares at Loki at a loss for words. Loki frowns.

"Why is none of this working?" Loki mutters to himself.

"W-what are you trying to accomplish?" Tony replies, still not sure what to really say.

"I'm wooing you, but it's not working." Loki growls, "I was even doing it Midgard style."

"You mean all those times you were being creepy and weird?" Tony raises an eyebrow, "You were trying to _woo_ me? How was that ever going to work on a single living soul in existence?"

"I read it one of those magazines you can purchase on that internet." Loki explains, as if it was supposed to explain anything at all.

Tony did a double take, "What exactly did this so-called magazine say?"

"To get your desired partner interested in you romantically, try being Aloof and Mysterious. If it does not work, perhaps a more straightforward approach will." Loki replies, "Figured it would work, what with you being human and all."

Tony barks out a laugh, "Loki, those magazines are all bullshit, you shouldn't listen to them. Besides, it's usually aimed at inexperienced children and teens."

Loki gave Tony a blank stare before slipping down off the table and heading for the door, "I'm a fool, to think I listened to a child's instruction."

Tony sighs, grabbing Loki by the arm, "You're not a fool, you just didn't know."

"Not knowing is what made me the fool." Loki hisses.

"I promise you're not a fool." Tony says, "Now, even though your strange attempts at wooing mostly just made me uncomfortable, let's start over."

"Start over?" Loki inquires.

"From one intellectual to another, how about we go out for dinner tomorrow?" Tony offers, "I wont tell them you've left my house, since you are still under house arrest."

"Are you asking me on a date?" Loki replies.

"I believe so." Tony grins.

"Then I will accept only on the condition we forget every time I've tried to do that this week." Loki says.

"Agreed."

Just like that, Tony figured out why Loki was acting the he did and scored himself a date with the God of Mischief.

There were the Good Days and The Strange Days, and in the Stark household we don't mention the Strange Days anymore.

 **End**

 **Also, I've been dying to use the phrase 'From One Intellectual to Another, Let's Fuck". I don't even know if I made it up or if it came from somewhere but since 3 am last week it's all my brain has been thinking about.**


End file.
